Man this is a pretty wild and NASTY story out of Kilgore as police there are looking for a dude who decided to go inside a local store and "relieve" himself, but not in the way you think.

According to a post by the Kilgore Police Department to their Facebook page, the man in the photos is wanted for what police say was a "lewd" act, but lewd is an understatement: This dude is a straight up perv man.

According to police, the individual was seen and captured on camera sexually pleasuring himself inside a local business. That local business appears to be a Dollar General store but I have so many damn questions as we take a closer look at the photos.

Kilgore Police Department

For starters, did he walk in planning to do this? Its unclear from the moment he walks through the door that he's on a mission to "rub one out". Also, the nerve of this dude wearing a Texas Rangers jersey when his favorite team should be the "Yankees"...HEY-OOOO!

Kilgore Police Dept. Facebook

Now as we can see in the second photo, buddy is finished with his "deed" and you can see by the look on his face that's he's relieved. But my question is, WHICH AISLE DID HE DO IT ON? Its a "Dollar General" so I'm concerned about what section or department he did his dirt in. Hopefully it was the "cleaning supplies" aisle so he could clean up his mess. Unless he did it in the "paper goods" aisle but I'm sure there would be tons of "sticky" evidence left around. Why couldn't dude stay in his car or better yet STAY AT HOME and do this? Weird.

Okay, I think I've grossed myself out with this one. Kilgore PD says he was driving a black Chevrolet Traverse with a missing front bumper with no license plate available (figures). If you have any information regarding the identity of this master debater, please contact Detective Joshua Sims at 903-218-6907 or

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