Heartbroken On Valentine’s Day? This Will Help

(KNUE-FM) If you're heartbroken right before Valentine's Day, this may help. And I speak as someone who has been exactly where you are right now. Going through a breakup with someone you love(d) is never easy. But when it coincides with, or comes right before, a day devoted to romantic love, it can be brutal.

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Most people have, or will, experience a heartbreaking breakup. Whether you've been married for years or were only dating for a while, if you love someone and they end the relationship--or even if you have--it's easy to fall into a pretty sad state. You may even feel bottomed out, wondering if you'll ever be happy again. And you will be. You may have been healing for months now and are ready to celebrate Single's Awareness Day on February 15. But it takes time.

The Unique Pain of a Breakup Before Valentine's

It's easy for people on the outside to encourage you and tell you to "keep your head up" and move on, but when you're in the midst of all of those complex emotions, that's easier said than done.

Read More: How to Survive Valentine’s Day When You’re Single

As hard as it feels in those moments, especially when all you see around you right now reminds you of what is no longer your reality, the best thing you can do is to take action, with intent, to start to get out of that emotional funk so you can move on. Give yourself some time to feel bad if you need to do so, but when you're ready, this may help:

Don't Over-Reminisce

For some reason, at the end of a relationship, we tend to romanticize our memories. Even if we know it is time to let go, once the pain-inducing paradigms have vanished, the natural human tendency toward regret and worry that we've made a mistake can lead us to dwell on all we've "lost." Try not to do that. Talk with a trusted friend who can help you see things a bit more objectively. Wish your former love well and focus on other things that will make you feel better.

Give Yourself a “Sad Party”

Give yourself one night (or week) to have a full-blown "sad party." Go ahead and grieve the loss. Cry, eat the ice cream, and watch the old movies that remind you of them. Write furiously through tears into your journal or write a song. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and let them flow. Just don't get lost there for too long.

Put the Memories Away

Pack up (or delete) the old photos and letters that you'll be tempted to read in your weak moments. There's nothing worse than having an evening when life has been difficult, and you're feeling down, than continually marinating in the good memories of what was inevitably an unsustainable relationship. Of course, it's not anything to be ashamed of in the beginning to allow yourself to fully grieve the loss of a relationship. But, when you're ready, let them go.

Move Your Body

Join a health club. Or just exercise at home. However, when you're feeling vulnerable, it's important not to isolate yourself. Interacting with other human beings will remind you that you're not alone and that life does move on. Plus, of course, the exercise will help release those feel-good chemicals in your body that will give you a lift. Also, when you start to become fitter, you'll feel all the more empowered to pick up the pieces of your life.

Learn Something New

Focus on learning a new skill or becoming more self-sufficient. Not only does "doing stuff" make you feel better because you're keeping your mind on the present moment instead of ruminating about the past, but it'll also give you a sense of what you're capable of, and you'll feel less desperate.

Nourish Yourself

Eat food that strengthens and nourishes you. As simple as this one is, it may be one of the very most important. What we eat has an enormous effect on how we feel and how well we physically function. As tempting as it is to live on fast food when you're sad, take the time to feed your body the things it needs to strengthen you.

Give It Time

Finally, give yourself time. This too shall pass. Be patient with yourself and with those around you when they won't stop asking you about it. You will be happy again--and think of all you will have learned. *Hug*