If you are born and raised in the South, you should already have your card by default. However, if you plan on moving to South, there are some things you will need to learn first before getting here. Hint; moving to Austin isn't one of them.

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So, what are some things you need to learn before becoming a true Southerner? Let's take a look, shall we.

  • Manners - Learn to say "yes sir" "no sir" or yes maam" "no maam". Apologizing for interrupting someone because they're minding their own business (ignoring you) is a plus, too.
  • Where To Live - Your best bet is to move to a small town. Avoid the headaches of the big city. Plus some Southern towns have lost points on their Southern card lately. Atlanta, Georgia, Nashville, Tennessee and Austin, Texas are some examples.
  • Know Your BBQ Type - Blood type means nothing in the South. What you use to smoke your brisket or your ribs is what matters most.
  • Find A Favorite College Football Team - This is extremely important. Oklahoma and Alabama don't count, however. No apologies to the Sooners or the Roll Tiders.
  • Snow - You must understand that a dusting of snow in the South is the same as a blizzard.
  • Driving Rules - Know the rules of the road. If you can't drive 90 on the interstate, don't use it. If you don't know the rules of a four way stop, learn 'em.
  • You All Equals Y'all - There is no exception to this rule. If you say "you all" or "yous guys" you will be laughed out of the South.

There you have it, some rules to earn your Southern Card. If you have any Northern friends moving here, show this list to them before they get here. If you know someone from California moving here, tell them Oklahoma is Texas and let the Okies deal with 'em.

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