When the New York Yankees shipped A.J. Burnett to Pittsburgh last week they actually paid the Pirates $18 million of the $31 million left on his contract so they would agree to take the underachieving pitcher off of their hands.

If that wasn’t insult enough, the Yanks took a final jab at Burnett in this hysterically awkward press release announcing the trade:

Burnett, 35, was signed by the Yankees as a free agent on December 18, 2008, to a five-year contract. In his three seasons with the club he went 34-35 with a 4.79 ERA (584.0IP, 311ER) in 99 games (98 starts). His 58 wild pitches recorded during his three-year stint with the Yankees (2009-11) were the most for any Major League pitcher over a three-season span since Tony Cloninger threw 62 wild pitches from 1964 through 1966, according to the Elias Sports Bureau.

He posted an 11-11 record with a 5.15 ERA (190.1IP, 109ER) in 33 appearances (32GS) with the Yankees in 2011, setting career-highs in home runs allowed (31) and tying a career-high in earned runs allowed, while ranking first with a franchise-record 25 wild pitches – the most by any Major League pitcher in a single season since the start of the 2000s and the fifth most since 1900.

Ouch. The press release is notable for two reasons- first, that it only lists what amounts to negative statistics — it doesn’t, for example, mention Burnett’s above average 174 strikeouts in 2011 or the World Series he helped the team win in 2009. What really makes one scratch their head is all the space spent dedicated to wild pitches, which isn’t typically a statistic pitchers are judged on.

Imagine if the Yankees find a taker for Alex Rodriguez’ bloated contract.  That press release will include mentions of Madonna, a cousin buying HGH and centaur paintings.

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