Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
Morning News Anchor Pulls ‘Anchorman’-Style Prompter Prank
One Today Show reporter in Australia had a real Ron Burgundy moment. It seems Roz Kelly will also read anything that's on the teleprompter. Fortunately, her co-anchor Karl Stefanovic didn't put an F-bomb in there like Veronica Corningstone, but he did get her to imply that she enjoys the "cookies" in Amsterdam.
21 Examples of Starbucks Employees Completely Massacring Someone’s Name
If there's one thing we love about Starbucks, it's that they always give us a place to go to the bathroom. Aside from that, it's also always a good time when they mix up a customer's name. When a Hong Kong Starbucks employee thought a woman named Virginia was actually named Vagina, we laughed.
We figured why not keep the laughs coming and found some more Starbucks name fails. We also included what
Couple Breaks Up in Epic Kiss Cam Dispute
Real or not real, this is officially the best part of going to a Grizzlies game -- watching people break up on the Kiss Cam. Unless, of course, you're the guy who got dumped, in which case this is probably the worst part of going to a Grizzlies game.
Awesome Mom Plays Black Keys on the Spoons
Don't be confused by the fact that this video starts with a lady feeding a bunch of kangaroos -- this IS a video of a lady rocking out on the spoons. The kangaroo intro merely adds to its general amazingness.
Starbucks Employee Thought Lady’s Name Was Vagina
You know what they say -- when in Rome, do as the Romans do; when in Hong Kong, get called "Vagina" at a Starbucks.* That must be how that saying goes, because that's exactly what happened to a woman named Virginia who was visiting Hong Kong recently, and she wasn't too happy about it.
Postman Teaches Kid a Lesson He Won’t Forget
We're not sure if this is the best or worst postman in the world. On the one hand, he really makes sure that mail gets delivered. On the other hand, now a toddler is crying. You know what? We're going to go with best postman in the world, because this GIF exists thanks to him.
News Anchors Can’t Handle How Dumb Ryan Lochte Is
We would feel bad for Ryan Lochte, except, you know, he won all those Olympic medals. These news anchors are so astounded by his amazing stupidity while promoting his E! reality show that as soon as the interview is over, they began laughing uncontrollably...
Man Buys Poodles, Discovers They’re Actually Ferrets on Steroids
This is not a joke. A man at the largest outdoor bazaar in Buenos Aires bought two toy poodles from a vendor for $150 each. Only he didn't actually buy two poodles. He actually bought two ferrets that were hopped up on steroids and given fancy hairdos so they would look like poodles.
Boat Tow Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong
When we saw the way the camera was oriented in this video we got a bad feeling. When the first words we heard were a man screaming "YIPSKIDDLY DOO," it got worse.
Metal Version of Aqua’s ‘Barbie Girl’ Surprisingly Rocks
This is the perfect way to relive those golden years back in the '90s before you hardened your heart and started listening exclusively to death metal. It's a metal guitar version of your 12-year-old self's favorite song -- 'Barbie Girl' by Scandinavian dance-pop group Aqua.
Internet Baby Naming Contest Thankfully a Hoax
Last week we reported that a horrible mom was letting the internet vote to decide the name of her child for a measly $5,000. We can now thankfully say that the whole thing was a big, stinking hoax, perpetrated by none other than the company holding the contest.
Woman Letting Internet Name Her Baby for $5,000
Suddenly we feel very lucky to have been born in the '80s. Back then, our biggest naming danger was being called Brandi or Lacey. One mom-to-be is letting the internet name her child, so who knows what it will be called.