I'm not a thief, but if I was, I would certainly make it something worthwhile. Something bigger than a bicycle. And I would at least make sure that my theft target is not a police officer.

Well, these idiots didn't follow either bits of advice.

Crystal Havard and Andrew Massingill decided they needed to steal a bicycle from Lufkin Police Assistant Chief, David Thomas according to KETK.

They stole from the assistant police chief (insert face palm or eye roll here).

And thanks to his house floodlights coming on, Thomas saw Havard running away with his son's bicycle before putting it in the bed of a truck. David Thomas got in his police vehicle, pulled them over and called in some on-duty officers.

When officers searched the truck, they found 10.8 grams of marijuana. Both Havard and Massingill were charged with possession of marijuana and theft.

Pardon me while I take a moment to laugh hysterically.