While you're downing hot dogs, hamburgers or really anything charred on a grill this weekend, think about what this fella has floating through his system. It's much worse than the 14,000 calories in those brats you're going to gobble up.

He wanted to set a world record by eating four sheets of computer paper in this somewhat NSFW video. Why? Well, we guess because looseleaf messes with the digestive tract (it's not called "loose"-leaf for nothing) and newspaper has all that icky print that no one seems to read anymore because you can learn everything you need to know on the Internet.

It's all very weird, which stands to reason since this appears to be a very weird guy. He even takes to calling himself the Human Paper Shredder, despite the fact he's not shredding paper. He also loses points for drinking water. If he's really tough, he'd be able  to chase the taste of paper with rubbing alcohol or a Crayola smoothie. Everyone knows that. That's just common sense, right?