Well you didn’t expect to hear a Shakespearian sonnet at a Monday Night Football game in Philadelphia did you?  There is, however, a certain elegance to this possibly drunken Philadelphia Eagles fan entertaining tailgaters with his freestyle raps before a game against the Bears.

Rich “Dick” Stern, the white bearded rapper in this video, learned to tear up the microphone while working as a corrections officer for 25 years.

Honestly, he really isn’t that bad. Like you could do better? There is no way you’d be able to toss out gems like “I’m gonna rock the house, until I get fit. Or get hit, like a mitt” and “It’s like ice cream butter hanging off a cone.” Is there really such a thing as ‘ice cream butter?’ Is it available in the same store that sells the sweet beer holster Slick Dick is wearing?

Watch and admire this budding rap star (that kinda looks like how we picture Eminem will look in twenty years) spit fire, rhymes and about half of his beer. [Warning - Video has a couple of dirty words.]