OK, let's just get this out of the way up front: I don't care how big they are or how they look or feel  -- live eels should never be used as sex toys. Ever. Period.

Unfortunately for one man in southern China, he didn't get that memo. The man had to have emergency surgery after inserting a 20-inch Asian swamp eel into his anus, a move he reportedly saw in a porn video. (Side note: I know there are some weird fetish videos out there, but damn.)

Eels have small but very sharp teeth, and the eel did what came naturally after it was inserted where the sun don't shine -- it tried to get the heck out of there. The 39-year old man had to check himself into the hospital in excruciating pain after the eel ate through the wall of his intestines.

The eel was actually removed alive, but it died shortly after the man was treated. The man is currently recovering in the hospital, and local officials are weighing filing animal cruelty charges. Again, damn!