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1997 Jeep Cherokee Craigslist Ad Might Be the Best Classified of All-Time

Craigslist

There’s absolutely nothing special about this 1997 Jeep Cherokee. It’s 16 years and has a ton of miles. But, it’s also the subject of perhaps the greatest Craigslist ad in the history of man.

Just a week old and fresh out of Enid, Okla., one man took to the popular online classified site to sell his beloved Jeep Cherokee — but not without a diatribe that will leave you rolling in laughter.

You can tell this guy is proud of his Jeep, and he admits he’s not too happy to be selling it. But he also won’t just sell it to anyone. He has some pretty awesome parameters:

  • If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
  • If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
  • If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
  • If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bull__ job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
  • If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
  • If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

And it gets even better …

  • If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
  • Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
  • Have you ever uttered the words, “Hold my beer and watch this …”?
  • While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, “I could hit that from here with the .22 …”?
  • Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
  • Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
  • When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
  • Is your ol’ lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
  •     -could you not care less?
  • Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
  • Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
  • Do you still miss your first ride?
  • Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
  • Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
  • Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?

There’s even more that makes it great. Check it all out in the full ad here. I almost want to give the guy $1,750 and a high-five for a killer Craigslist ad.

Click Here to See the 'Manliest' Craiglist Post Ever

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